If climbing was a scary movie, this would be the title...

Climbing can be a terrifying sport. 

Foot pops, whippers, and bloody hands are just a few of the horrors waiting to spook climbers when they least expect it.

In the spirit of Halloween, we asked our Dynamite Starfish community to share their best title if rock climbing was a scary movie.

Scroll on if you dare! 

Last Ascent ☠️

It's a dreary October afternoon, but no amount of foul weather can stop you from getting stoked for climbing your project. 

That is until ... duh duh duh ... 

You roll up to the climbing crag and find the crux hold lying on the ground in a million pieces. Ouch.

But what's even cringier than broken dreams? Excitedly opening the gym doors only to realize that the route setters have stripped the entire wall.

R.I.P.

(Photo courtesy of @lucybphotography) 

I Still Know What You Punted Last Summer

If a climber falls on the last move and nobody is around to see it, does anybody remember?

Yes. 

Your climbing buddies might not have witnessed the embarrassment, but our tattered egos never forget the feeling of falling as your hand slips off the glory jug in slow motion. 

"We're going home now and never, ever, under any circumstances known to man speak about this again. Is that clear?"  - Barry 

(Title courtesy of @williamalexanderthegreat)

Last Climb On The Left

Oh, Mountain Project. 

How we love free information, yet hate the sense of obscurity lingering over any pictureless, ⭐⭐⭐ route described as "start on the obvious loose flake and continue upwards". 

That is...if you're lucky enough to have cell service at the crag in the first place...

(Photo courtesy of @yellielu)

Slack 3: The Whipper

You're high off the deck, 10 feet over the last bolt, with a quickdraw dangling just out of reach. Your legs begin to tremble and the throbbing in your forearms grows by the second.

In a desperate attempt to reach your saving grace, you scream to your belayer, "CLIPPINGGGGG!!!"

But it's too little, too late...

(Title courtesy of @soyspinozista)

Dry Fire

Easily the most-watched climbing horror film in 2024. While it struggles to gain popularity among the protagonists, audience members rave about its ability to turn the 'BOO!' moment into howling laughter for everyone watching.

Be as stoked as you want, 'cause this one will get you when you least expect it...

 

(Photo courtesy of @shaun.climbs)

Cheese Grating

This plot has two equally gory versions. Let's explain.

#1 - You're on a slab when your foot unexpectedly pops from the little jib you were standing on. As you fall, you scrape body parts on any and all protrusions from the wall (i.e. volumes, gritty surfaces). 

#2 - You're crimping hard when you suffer a dry fire. The intense force causes your fingers to curl into your palm leaving your knuckles to thrash against the rock. 

Take your pick.

(Title courtesy of @alysonvaughan)

The Sending

This cheesy spinoff of the acclaimed 'I Know What You Punted Last Summer' scores a measly 47% on Rotten Tomatoes. 

🍅 Critics Consensus: Taking an axe to joy and excitement, The Sending plunges climbers into a black hole of despair as they aimlessly search for their next mega project.

(Photo of @tradisplaid taken by @dumb_millennial)

Torn Flappers

Forget to look at your skin every single time you come off the wall? Big mistake.

You're gonna need a big roll of tape if you want to Keep Climbing after this one...

(Title courtesy of @agreetodisagrigri) 

Off Route

Follow the trail of chalk they said, it'll be type 2 fun they said... 

Oh, and that huge jug 10 feet to the left of your route with no signs of white above it? It's a mean, mean trick.

Cue Slack 3: The Whipper.

 (Title courtesy of @chopstix_whitebelt)

A1 Pulley

"Hey, what's that over there?!", you say to yourself as you spot a climb you've never seen before.  

It's beautiful, it's proud, and it's full of tiny little crimps. You throw down your gear and jump on without warming up (the walk from the car counts right?). 

You feel like a superhero cruising through the moves. Suddenly, you feel something strange and a sound erupts from your finger. Game over.

This horror movie is also known in the climbing world as 'Snap, Crackle, Pop' and 'The Texas Pulley Massacre'. 

And did you hear about the sequel 'The Healing'?

It'll be out in a few months.

(Photo of @kenleedogusddogus taken by @anakarotkaya)

---

If rock climbing was a scary movie, what title would you give it?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. We'd love to hear from you!

Psst…Our tees are a great conversation starter!

With so many styles, we know you’ll be the climber having the most fun at the crag. 

SHOP OUR UNISEX CLIMBING APPAREL: